Thursday, December 12, 2013

I'm not really sure what's been going on the past few days, but it's like my mindset has changed more than ever. I've simply been thinking about my future. What a shock, right? (I'm seriously hoping you're picking up on the thick sarcasm I'm laying down right now.)

All I've wanted to do for the past year is work in music. I've just wanted to run, produce, plan, and organize a huge music festival. All I wanted this festival to do was help teens and young adults (maybe even some adults) escape their fears, pressures, and anxieties for just a few days.

Then I started to think: what if I can do more than that?
What if this festival is so much more than an escape?
What if it's a healing process or an event that brings light to rough situations?
Who says I can't do that?

But then again I know exactly who. Myself.

I've never been able to accept success, only failure. I assume I'm going to fail or I'm not good enough, so I simply don't try. I've given up on so many situations over the past few years that it terrifies me.
I've given up on friendships, opportunities, events, and even some grades due to the idea that failing while trying is worse than simply giving up. And that, my friends, is so wrong of me.
I'm not saying that I've completely changed over the past week and I'll never be afraid or give up again, but I genuinely feel happy to be alive again. I've started to feel joy from the simple things: looking at the stars, lazing around, or driving down back roads.

My passions and dreams have been strengthened - some of you didn't even know that was possible.
I'm finding my love for writing and video editing and graphic design; my creativity is flowing.
I'm wanting to travel and experience this world that God created.
I'm wanting to make adventures and pick up new skills.
I wanting to try things I've always been afraid of - shout out to surfing and standup paddleboarding.
I'm wanting to take better care of myself and expand my mind.
I'm wanting to help others.
And I couldn't be more proud of myself.

So who says I, or you or anyone, can't do the things that we love or crave?
Go out and be who you are. Create your own journey and document every second of it.

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